Marina Joyce Music

-and everything that happens for a reason

I was so fortunate as a little one to be introduced to dance. My parents were always looking for activities for my brother and I. We played every sport you can think of and by process of elimination, we narrowed that list down to the things that seemed to fit best. I learned very young that I loved music and loved how it felt to move through it physically, mentally and emotionally. When I look back, I can remember little me, 3 or 4 years old learning how to use the A-track and record players. I for sure scratched the hell out of a bunch of my dads records, but I just remember being allowed to put on the headphones, lay on the family room floor and listen. Little me would tune out the outside world and create my own. How meditative of me without me even knowing it. But certainly, this was a skill that I only further developed and got better and better at as I got older.

Music became my safe space. My haven. My saviour in a way. Nothing was wrong if I had music. Not a thing. As I got older, I no longer listened only in the family room, but now in my bedroom. I could bring my CD player into the bathroom when I showered or blast it while I was getting dressed in my room. This was my voice. The songs were saying everything I wanted to say. Like a lot of us do, I often found myself drawn to songs with lyrics that related to what I was going through in my life. I remember a time when I was about 7 or 8 getting shut out of my friends group at school one day and wandering around the playground alone. I remember sitting off to the side and singing Creep by Radiohead, because it’s how I was feeling.

I always knew I connected to and heard music differently than a lot of people. I used dance as a form of speech – body language as I used to say about it – I don’t need to talk about it, I’ll just move through it. I used dancing as sort of my therapy and I think without it, little me would have really struggled.

I remember being in the church choir when I was young too. I only liked it, I didn’t love it. It was the practices that I liked, but when it came time to the performing part, I always wanted to go sit with my mom! I didn’t like the whole ‘standing there and everyone staring at me’ bit. It was not the same as being on stage dancing. It didn’t feel the same. I never really noticed that one stage felt different than the other until I was older. A friend told me that when I was little and I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say that I wanted to be a singer. Strange that I felt this way even though that particular stage felt so terrible.

Even though I liked to mess around in choir and had such a close relationship to music, I didn’t start singing until I was older. I didn’t even know I could. There was a grade 9 graduation celebration when I was 14 and I was in the choir. A couple of us were hanging out at my house and singing some of the songs for the graduation. We were using a tape recorder and listening back to ourselves after we sang. Nothing special, just messing around. I listened back when I was alone and heard my voice. Even though we were all singing together, I heard my voice. I had never heard it like that before. I had never listened to myself this way. Now that felt different. That felt like me.

Like most 18 year olds, I obviously found karaoke because I had a best friend who wouldn’t leave me behind. We had the best time hosting together for years! Somewhere in my mid twenties, I found my way into a few singing opportunities. I was offered a spot in a new band! I was nervous. The other singers were so experienced and over the top amazing. I spent a year rehearsing and learning so much and totally falling in love with being in a band. I soaked up every bit I could from this talented group of people before it dissolved. Before I knew it, I received another ask to work with a duo group doing originals. Very cool. I took my confidence there and brought what I could to the table. This project was very very green, and although there was a ton of potential, when an old, good friend of mine reached out and asked me to sing with his already established, successful, popular, local, corporate cover band (plug, plug heehee), I couldn’t possibly say no…twice. Ok, ok, I passed up the offer initially. But once I was in that room working away with those guys, I couldn’t stop. I sang with that band for almost 5 years and loved every bit of it! Somewhere in there, I stopped dancing. It just sort of stopped doing it for me – especially not the way singing was doing it. I found me. I found where I was truly the most authentic me!

For my birthday in 2013, I was gifted tickets to see Pink in Edmonton, Ab. Holy shit, me and two girlfriends were headed up to see her and we were stoked!! The concert was pushed to 2014 because Pink was sick and made changes to her tour. We planned our trip based on the new concert date. New date meant new opening act. We had never heard of ‘The Kin’ before, so we stocked up on as many YouTube videos as we possibly could to get in the concert mood! They. Were. Awesome! We couldn’t wait to go! And we did and the concert kicked ass. We had so much fun! Of course they were giving out all the garbage “come to the after party” postcard things. “Pink might be there” “the guys that opened might be there” they all said. Well, we weren’t exactly going home that night, so we hit up one of those bars and continued on with the night. We played pool and drank the drinks. And suddenly, in walked the guys from the opening act. Whoa! Those guys just opened for Pink and now they’re here?!!? Mind blown!

Something changed in me that night. I looked at these guys in that band that just got off stage with Pink (I mean…Pink, right?!?!) and I felt such a pull. Something inside me told me they were about to be a part of my life. One of the weirdest feelings I’ve ever had meeting someone who I would truly, most likely, never see again. But it was there…We aren’t the quiet type, my friends and I, so we obviously introduced ourselves. We chatted with them for a while about literally any and everything. We took pictures with them and we bantered all night! When we told them where we are from, they told us they would be coming to our city in just a few months to do a concert. NO WAY?!

Well it was time, and we headed to the show! It was a small, intimate venue and, oh yea… they remembered us! It was a great show and we had a chance to talk to them again. That night, I dreamt about them. I dreamt that they were there on an important day in my life singing. I don’t really know what day it was, just some kind of celebration, but they were there singing. I told my partner at the time about this dream when I woke up. “They’re just gonna be in my life. I can feel it” I said. Then I put it away and honestly forgot it even happened! I found the guys on Instagram and they followed me back! I liked their stuff, they sometimes liked mine. Pretty surface, but it was neat to be somewhat still in touch.

I was singing a ton and it was great. Something I really wish I appreciated more in the moment, but isn’t that always the way. Oh hindsight, you weasel. Guitar is something that I love, but not something that I really do. There’s this gap in my mind that just won’t let me go past a certain point with my learning. Someone said to me once, “if you can sing, then they don’t care what you’re playing”. And someone else said to me “if you can’t play it, then find someone who can to do it for you”. Now I’m not entirely sure if either are true, but I have sure held onto this advice!! This became my therapy. Singing, writing, playing repeat. A beautiful way to spend my free time.

I would post videos of myself singing and playing on Instagram. This came about because I wanted a way to hold myself accountable to practice. That, and I just loved singing, so I wanted to do it as much as I can. One day, out of nowhere, I got a message from one of the guys from The Kin. He wasn’t too wordy, but he said they have a program that they’ve started and they think I would be a good fit for it. Huh? I would be a good fit? Tell me more!!

Well, these guys developed a program called The Songwriters Journey and they wanted to sell me a spot in the group. Wow! I can’t believe I’m on a Zoom call with these guys in California that I met in Edmonton after watching them open up for Pinks arena concert. If you know me outside of this blog, or picked up on any of my quirks, then you know what I said! No.

-To Be Continued

MJ